Children don't owe their parents anything.

You by no means need to accept my anger. I have told you honestly that I am angry with you and you accepting it or not doesn't change it. I need to analyse and come to an understanding in myself regarding the deep disappointment that our relationship isn't what I needed when I was a child and it isn't now.

That's where all of the anger comes from - our talk on the beach where I told you about my being asexual and that I think it stems from the sexual trauma I experienced as a teenager. Your lack of reaction or comfort to what I told you and then you swapping the topic of conversation to your problems disappointed me but didn't really surprise me. Then it happened again during our conversation on the back step, where I was trying to make sense of it all and open up to my mother about my feelings and worries regarding the way we are with each other. I was met with you trying to change the conversation to your problems again and then it ended with the dismissive blanket statement of 'So, I make you miserable'. I got up and walked away then as I realised you weren't interested in actively listening, only in being seen as the victim and controlling the narrative, shushing me to silence any possible complaints about you. That's when the anger started and it's still bubbling under the surface, ready to come out the next time you dismiss my feelings and attempt to manipulate me into backing down. You're not interested in doing the difficult bit of parenting.

Those instances were the final straw that broke this imaginary picture of our mother-daughter relationship. It exposed many hurts and realisations, raw and messy that now need examining and proper time to heal. I am angry at you because you are the parent and you act like a victim. You're unable to take criticism or question yourself. You dislike the fact that I'm acting angry at you without ever truly contemplating that it's a consequence of your actions. You think I'm the problem because of how I'm reacting to your behaviour and I should get over it and move on.

You act like I owe you, because you adopted me and raised me, that I am yours. A parent chooses to have a child, the child does not get a say in being born. Children don't owe their parents anything and especially not for doing the bare minimum like giving shelter, giving food, providing for them, etc. Being there emotionally for a child is JUST if not more important for their overall well-being and for them to grow up into well adjusted adults.

I am nobody's thing. I don't belong to you. I am taking back my life and I know that will make you uncomfortable. I won't feel guilt when I haven't done anything wrong.

I will have the final say on my choices.