Things I do have control over

After a lot of anger, frustration and tears today, I want to write points that I do have control when it comes to interacting with my mother.

• The amount of phone calls I have with her, the duration of them and the topics discussed.

• I don't have to accept manipulation - I can draw a line verbally such as "I dislike where this conversation is going so I'm choosing to end it", then either hang up the phone or walk away from her.

• Activities: such as the spa voucher that runs out soon, I don't HAVE to go with her. It's up to me what I choose to do and it is up to her if she wants to use the voucher with someone else.

• I choose when and for how long I spend visiting my family. It is not up to her and her feelings have no bearing on my relationship with them.

• When she's here I don't have to spend time with her if I don't want to. Especially if she tries to guilt me into it.